Friday, February 17, 2012

The First Annual State of the Dave Factor Address.

Good afternoon, my friends.  Today, I am pleased to announce that the state of The Dave Factor is strong!  As we approach the first anniversary of my humble, awesome and engaging blog's existence, the future is bright and promising.

When I first started this blog, a year ago next week, I had absolutely no idea what I was going to write about every day.  Now, almost a year later, I still have absolutely no idea what I'm going to write about each day.  Much has changed in the last year and much has stayed the same.  Back when I first started this blog, I thought making money by doing it was a pipe dream, something that was beyond my modest reach and capabilities.  Now, as I look to the end of my first year at this and count up the earnings I have made from this venture, I realize I was completely right in the first place.

However, this is something that can be changed, that must be changed, that will be changed!

2012 is going to bring big changes to The Dave Factor.  Not to the regular, high-quality writing and top-shelf entertainment you have come to know and love, that will remain as great as ever.  No, these changes will be to the way I help separate you from your cash in exchange for crap!

Yes, that's right, T-Shirts, stickers, coffee mugs.  Anything I can slap a stupid catchphrase or logo on and sell for a few bucks from the store I'm going to set up whenever I get around to it.  Soon you will be able to give me money and receive a shirt that says something witty and most likely plagiarized that you can wear out in public and create controversy or use to avoid a public indecency charge.  Be the envy of your office when you pour yourself a cup of Joe into a mug with a saying on it that causes a co-worker to ask "What does that say?" and when you show them, they will reply "That's stupid, I hope you didn't pay for that mug..."  Jokes on them, because you did!  I believe that this will create much needed income where it will do the most good - my bank account.

I'm not just thinking fiscally, though, I'm thinking with a social conscience as well.  In this next year, I will endeavor to post about topics that take on the status quo and challenge you to evaluate the way you think about things like Ebay, Amazon, Best Buy, Target, and Ford.  About products like the Apple Macbook, the Beats by Dre headphones, Red Bull energy drinks, Smirnoff Vodka and the chicken club chalupa from Taco Bell.  Also, you may find yourself wondering why I am mentioning specific corporations or products with no real logical context, don't worry about that, focus on the real issue here - freedom!

Yes, freedom.  Freedom to read my blog as much as you want.  Freedom to donate as much as you can afford to help me better provide the entertainment you have come to rely on, like an old friend, in your miserable lives.  Freedom to do exactly what I tell you to do, in exactly the manner I tell you to do it.  That's real freedom, and I support real freedom.

As we look forward to a new year and a new day for The Dave Factor, it's important to recognize how important all of you are to the success of this blog.  Without your loyal readership, I would just be saying all of this junk to myself like a crazy person, and I have way too few cats to justify mental illness.  As of this month, I'm averaging over 6,000 page views per month.  That's about 200 visits per day and I know I don't have that many friends, so thank you to everyone who reads the stuff I write for a reason other than a sense of obligation to not be a jerk to your friend.  Also, thanks to everyone who reads this stuff for that reason too, I love you the most!  Granted, most of my hits are due to the fact that I stick unnecessary buzz words like Justin Bieber, Free iPod, hot lesbian porn and unreleased alternate ending to Twilight: Breaking Dawn part 2 into my posts, but be that as it may, I still get traffic and eventually I will figure out a way to turn that into money and then look out!

So, as I bring this state of The Dave Factor address to a close, I just want to say thank you to everyone who visits my page, reads what I write and looks at the pictures I post.  Even the ones who disagree with me and especially the ones who disagree with me to the point that they comment on my posts and argue with me about the stuff I say, because we all know you guys are the ones who read this stuff the most, and for that I am thankful.  Seriously, I really am, you do wonders for my eCPM's.  Who knows what the future will bring for The Dave Factor... Crossovers?  Spin-offs?  Feature films?  Stage productions?  Collaborations?  Books?  Probably none of those things, but one thing I know for sure, as long as I keep posting, I'm going to keep reading what I post and if I think it's good enough, I will keep it on here and be satisfied with it and at the end of the day, my moderate satisfaction is the fuel that powers this juggernaut.  God bless you and God bless The Dave Factor.


  1. Congrats on a great year with the Dave Factor. You have 6,000 hits a month? I have a total of 6,000+ hits for the life of my blog. That's three years worth. But it's not a competition. Here's to many more years of the Dave Factor. Cheers!!!

  2. I think it's just because I manipulate keyword searches. ;) (Justin Bieber, Whitney Houston, Santorum)