Halloween is the best holiday. These are the best things about Halloween!
Best Candy: Full-Sized chocolate bars (any brand).
Gum that lasts more than 10 chews
Best Costume: Zombie!
Vampire (non-sparkly kind only)
Demon or Devil
Sarah Jessica Parker
Best Scary Movie: Halloween!
Dawn of the Dead
Night of the Living Dead
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Best Spooky Familiar: Black Cat!
Raven or Crow
Best Halloween Monster: Werewolf!
Vampires (non-sparkly only)
Best Slutty Costume: Sexy Chainsaw Killer!
Sexy Girl who Has Sex with Me
Best Place to Party on Halloween: Haunted House!
The Middle of Nowhere
Best Halloween Drink: The Brain Hemorrhage!
The Headless Horseman
Best Halloween Blog Post Ever: This One!
Ok, that might be a lie. Whatever, I'm going to go load the dvd changer up with my collection of epic horror movies and start the "shit your pants in terror" marathon right now! By the time some poor little bastard ignores the universal "go away, no candy here!" indicator of my porch light being off, I'm going to be so jacked on Halloween scariness that I'm going to chase the little shit down the street with a butcher knife and I don't care if his mama's with him! Of course, if she's dressed like a slutty MILF or something, she better hope she's got her track shoes on...