Gotta overcompensate for the Justin Timberlake thread the other day and I'm a man of my word! So, without further ado, I dedicate today's blog post to my good friend Shawn and every other guy who appreciates a nice booty with a quick and dirty list of girls rocking the hot pooters.
It's almost unfair to start this list off with Vida. She's like the queen of ass. This isn't ranked in any particular order, though, so no reason to beat around the bush, so to speak. Vida's body in general is amazing, but that ass just shuts it down. Pay attention girls, this is the kind of booty real guys like to see.
Model/Actress/Booty goddess Sofia Vergara is like a Vida Guerra for guys who like their girls a little, I dunno... cleaner? Less ghetto? Not as blasted out by rapper penis? More "A-List"? Whatever you call it, Sofia rocks it. Not quite as bodacious as Vida in the dumper dept., Sofia is nonetheless blessed with an amazing seat cushion. Also, Sofia is another girl who doesn't sacrifice boobs for booty. A lot of girls with amazing posteriors tend to be pretty flat-chested and while some compensate with implants (Hi, Vida) Sofia is all-natural and good for her!
I mentioned Jessica when I was talking about JT's exes the other day and she definitely belongs on this list. She's got a trunk full of junk at an almost Brazilian level. White girls in Hollywood with kick-ass... well... asses... are exceedingly rare these days, especially with their obsession with being way too damn skinny, so it's refreshing and encouraging to see a girl with as much celebrity cred as Jessica keeping her curves and not giving in to the pressure to get all sucked up and gross.
Jessica Alba doesn't have nearly as much stuffing in her pillows as the other girls on this list, but in this case, quality trumps quantity. Also, she seems to really love crawling around on all fours in a bikini, much to the delight of the entire male population. Jessica is a total package - beautiful face and a great body. I ain't mad at her, even if she won't do nudity on film.
Umm... I forgot what I was going to say... I mean, just... damn. Christina is a 10, face, boobs, curves, booty, red hair... there's nothing this chick doesn't have going on. Rumor has it though that she's an insane mega-bitch, but I could care less. I can't remember the last time I stretched my meat to some girl's personality, so she could club orphans with baby seals in her spare time and I'd still throw my hotdog down her hallway. Seriously, that .gif is just mesmerizing...
Much like Vida, Amber Rose has a rear airbag that has been inflated by countless rapper pumping, including a stint with Kanye West. Normally, baldness is a major turn off on a chick, but in this case I think I could bang Amber Rose for about a month at least before I even noticed she had a head at all.
Coco is ridiculousness. I've heard the whole "she got butt implants" thing and, frankly, I don't care. Say what you want about her, but Coco is a party and a half. She loves taking pictures of herself and showing off what she's got and that's a pretty great quality for a girl to have, especially when she's rocking an almost cartoonish over the top body like this. Sure, you can be critical of her looks - she's definitely got some rough shots out there and she ain't getting any younger - but when she gets cleaned up and slaps a little glittery butt floss back there, that shit sets a new standard for spank bank dominance. I mean, she tamed Ice Mothafukkin T, bitch, homegirl is doing her damn thing.
And yes, I completely ignored Kim Kardashian on purpose, because fuck her, that's why.