Wednesday, April 11, 2012

I like Asia Argento.

Not just because she's the daughter of legendary Italian horror master Dario Argento and not just because she starred in George A. Romero's "Land of the Dead" and not just because she likes to get naked a lot.  Ok, those are all awesome things, but even if her dad wasn't an awesome horror film maker and even if she wasn't in a Romero zombie movie and even if she (mostly) kept her clothes on, I would still dig her.  There's just something about Asia that's super hot to me.  She's got a dirty hotness to her, like a tomboyish sluttiness, and she doesn't seem to have many inhibitions, which is always a positive.  Plus, she's got a trashy style that's just really sexy, in a sort of sacrilegious sort of way.

Jesus... smokes?
See what I mean?  I don't know, some guys might find her unattractive and kind of grungy, but I think she's a smoking little Italian pistol.

She cleans up nice, too.

Here's a shot of Asia from the set of "Land of the Dead", where she plays the hottest girl in the post-ZomPoc island refuge slum where she lives and yet when our hero first meets her, she's been thrown into a cage with a zombie for the amusement of the sadistic crowd.  Three things you should never waste in the zombie apocalypse, food, water and hot girls.

She's just so damn dirty/hot!  And, is that an angel flying out of her snatchos?

Hand bras are the new regular bras.
Why yes, yes it is an angel flying out of her snatchos!  In fact, there's an even better picture of her that unequivocally proves this fact, but I have to show some restraint.  But yeah, Asia has some cool, trashy tats which only further add to her dirty sexiness.

"When I said I wanted a number 2 on my chest, this isn't what I meant..."
Doesn't even bother me that she polished Vin Diesel's depilated knob.

"Sup?  Just humping this pillar, no big deal."
I like Asia's fashion too, it's sort of all over the place.  Sometimes she's got an almost gothic, elegant look going on and sometimes she looks like a heroin dealer's girlfriend, but it pretty much always works.

It's like, on the one hand, I almost think Asia is too wild for me.  Like if we hung out, she'd end up taking me to some crazy, underground fetish club and by the end of the night I would have needles in my dick and a brand on my ass and possibly Hep C, but on the other hand, I would be like "So, will you call me tomorrow?" after the ecstasy wore off.

No, I'm not scared, I'm just shaking because it's cold.
Makes me want to throw my copy of "Land of the Dead" in the dvd player and wish it was a better movie!  

"Seriously, there's like 5 women in this whole shanty town and 4 of them make the undead look hot and you want to feed me to a zombie for fun?" 
Yeah, LotD isn't a great movie and it's not just because of John Leguizamo, either.  It's still better than 90% of the zombie movies out there though, which is kind of a sad commentary on the state of the zombie film genre.  George gets a lifetime pass on making dud zombie movies though, because he created "Dawn of the Dead", the greatest zombie movie of all time.  Also, LotD isn't the worst zombie movie George has made, I think that honor goes to "Survival of the Dead" pee-yew!

But, I digress.  This isn't about George Romero and his steadily declining zombie film quality, it's about Asia Argento and her steadily growing hotness.

From the maker of hand bras come arm bras!
Asia may not be everyone's cup of espresso, but she's certainly mine.  I want to steal a car with her and use it as a getaway for a bank robbery or maybe just have some gelato and try to get her to let me see her butthole.

I know we're at a funeral, but I still want to bang you.
Maybe it's the Italian in me, or the drug addict, but either way, I can't get enough of this smokey little dego hottie.  It's ok, I can say dego because I'm half Italian, and also because it's almost as weak of a racial slur as cracker.  Asia just does it for me, she's awesome.

I mean, I actually sat through "XXX" because of her, that's love right there.

This is the part where I post a picture of her cute little posterior and say "The End!" because it's her end, get it?  Whatever, I just want an excuse to show her butt cheeks. (sorry, Kristin)

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