Friday, May 13, 2011

A quick note to everyone who cares enough to read my quick notes.

I've been trying to get on here and post more stuff because, just when I think no one reads the shit I write, someone messages me and says wtf dude, I love your blog, get crackin!  I have been in so much unbelievable ridiculous pain since my surgery that sitting at my computer desk is like impaling myself on a wrought iron fence and leaning all my weight forward, and that's putting it mildly.  I was under some crazy impression that having my hernia surgery done laproscopically would reduce my post-surgery pain and hasten my recovery process, but apparently it works the opposite.  I hate complaining about being in pain, but FUCK this shit hurts!  I used my wife's laptop the other day to throw some shit up here, and that seemed like a workable enough option, but then the next day I was just knocked out and slept most of the next two days straight and then after that Blogger was down until apparently sometime today, which has prevented me from doing anything other than viewing stuff I had already posted.  I'm only able to type this right now because I am peaking on a mix of percocet and norcos, I have an ice pack wedged under my gut and I'm wincing, biting my lip and taking it like a power bottom at a gang bang.  Sometime tonight, after my wife gets home from work with her laptop, I'll try and make a proper post and put up some content worth reading or at the very least using as further proof that I am a talentless hack with just enough hubris to share it with the world but not enough sense to realize I shouldn't.  I just wanted to get something up here though to let my literally dozen of fans know that I miss you almost as much as I pretend you miss me and I'm really trying to get back in the saddle, figuratively and literally, as quickly as possible. 

In the meantime, here is a teaser of some of the things I have been working on for upcoming blog post topics!

  • Rand Paul is a douchebag.
  • I Spit On Your Grave is a fucking bad ass remake!
  • Our stubborn two-party loyalty is why our government sucks and does fuck all for us.
  • A tribute to awesome "second singles" by great 90's alt rock bands.
  • Gas companies treat us like prostitutes, and not the smart, Julia Roberts kind.
  • Keira Knightley is hotter than shit, the devil's shit, in a lava toilet with corns of hot coal.
  • I think the Republicans secretly do have a serious presidential candidate hidden somewhere, and all these clowns we're seeing now are part of a great distraction to get Obama to lower his guard and then BAM!
  • Obama keeps doing all the shit he promised he'd do on the campaign trail and yet people are still giving him shit, proving you could give some people a hundred dollar bill and they'd bitch cause now they have to go buy a wallet...
  • The biggest amoral pieces of shit in politics are also some of the most flamboyantly "Christian," coincidence?
And much, much more!

Until then, my compadres...


  1. Hey Dave,
    Sorry to hear about all the pain. Be patient and just take it easy. Good to see a new post.

  2. Thanks, Dianne. :) Each day I feel a little better, I just wish the "little better" would increase in value, it's already been 8 days since I got out of the hospital and it still takes my breath away for a second whenever I stand up or sit down, this healing from invasive surgery shit is for the birds!