Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Signs, Signs, everywhere a (Teabagger) sign.

Yes, this post is going to be all about those educated and angry squeaky wheels in the Tea Party,  begging for oil with their big ol' signs.  Let's get right to it!

It's NOT about his race!
No, seriously, it has nothing to do with Obama being black...
We would say the same thing if the president was white!
It's not racist when you spell it wrong!
This isn't racist, everyone knows Latin Americans invented nationalized health care!
If it's one thing I hate, it's a half-breed loosely-woven Indian cloth...
So, the dumbest guy in Kenya can become a constitutional law professor, Senator and eventually president of the United States?  Damn, that "click-clack" talk they do must be binary code, smart sons a bitches!  Fastest runners too?  Dammit!
Oh please, now you're going to tell me that referencing "massa" on his plantation is racist?  What's next, you gonna say "Tar baby" is a racist term?
This can't be racist, it's isn't even ABOUT black people!
Just because we make jokes that reference Obama's race and ancestry and question his citizenship, even though he's produced as much proof of his legitimate US birth as every other president in history, and in fact more than most before official birth records were kept, that does NOT mean we're racist!  Besides, look at that cute lion!  It's funny because it uses "lion" and "lyin"!  Take your liberal race card and play it somewhere else, nig.. uh... I mean African lover!
Oh please, you liberals will read racism into everything!  Give it a rest already!
See!  It's not "racism" it's "concern".  "Concern" that a black guy will come and take all of our money and give it to his black friends back in the 'hood.

It's funny because it references both an unpopular piece of proposed Democratic legislation AND the slave trade!  Extra bonus points for the deep-fried twinkie eaters in the back with the "Health Care Can Wait" sign.  Wait for what, your second bypass?  Better hope your non-union job doesn't decide to cut your health benefits next month to save money, because we all know no self-respecting Teabagger would join a union to protect those benefits...

"Kenyan" is SO not the Teabagger code word for "nigger"!  And, besides, I used ebonics to talk like those people, I'm not a racist, I'm an interpreter!

So, ok, not all Teabaggers are racists, they just don't give enough shit to the ones who are.  It's like how these same guys blame all Muslims for terrorism because they don't speak out enough against the extremists.  If I said "All Christians are hate-filled, racist, homophobic assholes" because of the funeral protests of the Westboro Baptist (God Hates Fags) Church, every Christian I know would say I was completely off-base and wrong as wrong can be... and you know what, they would be correct to say that.  However, it's perfectly fine to say "If those Muslims don't do everything they can to help us get rid of the extremists in their religion, then they're just as guilty in their complicity."  It's the same thing.  If the Tea Party isn't all a bunch of complicit racists, then they need to start helping round up all the "extremists" in their party who are and kick them all out.  Otherwise, they're guilty by association, just like Obama and William Ayers... 

But, I digress, the point is that not all Teabagger protesters are racists.

This is the excetion, not the rule.
See, it's not about racism, it's about keeping people who can't speak English out of "are country".
This combines both the "American Values" of anti-intellectualism with the completely non-racist obsession with Obama being a foreigner because he has a funny name and brown skin.  Perfectly innocent.
If you want to be a true "patriotic", you need to descend, preferably into a hole or deep crevasse.
Translation: "Senate & Congress, read it before "You'ns" vote, if you can read."

Ah, come on now, not ALL Teabaggers are uneducated and just reacting angrily with a combination of ignorance, fear, latent prejudice and misplaced patriotism!  You liberals always pick out the worst possible examples to make us look bad.  You do it all the time, always demonizing the Republicans and the Tea Party and we never do anything like that to you guys.  It's all the Democrats, always, every time.  (Don't read my last post, by the way, may contain proof of hypocrisy!)

Ok, ok.  Not ALL Teabaggers are racists who can't spell.

If my dog can't be bothered to read, neither can I!  Also, stop "crushing the rich" with your talk of a 2% tax increase!!!  Those people create JOBS!  What?  Oh, I'm here in the middle of a weekday afternoon because I'm laid off right now...
Damn that socialized medicine!  Give me good old, privately-funded Medicare!
Look at all these people, working together for one common goal... of protesting a society working together for one common goal...
That's right, GOVERNMENT!  Keep your damn government hands off of my government-provided socialized medicine safety net.  Don't steal from MY socialized medicine fund to pay for socialized medicine!
Obama has the crisis of "competnce", not us!
Ayn Rand took government money to get medical procedures done.  That's your hero of non-reliance and personal accountability?  Sounds about right...
Faked?  Probably.  Accurate?  Definitely.

Now I'm just being a jerk.  Everyone knows the Teabaggers aren't racists, they aren't uneducated, they aren't willfully naive or blissfully ignorant.  They are hard-working, tax-paying men and women who are fed up with the government getting bigger and bigger and our taxes going up and up.  It doesn't matter that Obama lowered taxes for the entire middle class, because the whole time he was doing it, he was imagining himself raising taxes on us instead, and cheating in your mind is still cheating!  So whatever, Obama lowered taxes for the middle class, but he wants to raise taxes on the rich!  Don't you know we depend on rich people to create jobs?!  Sure, we're at record national unemployment right now and the largest hiring agencies in the country right now are state and federal governments, even though they have eliminated nearly 350,000 jobs since Obama took office.  Which, by the way, doesn't count as "reducing the size of government" because we all know Obama wants to grow government, and if he oversaw the laying off of nearly 350,000 government employees, it was only so he could make way for more welfare cases and illegal immigrants to come in and get abortions and not say prayers in school!  Cutting taxes and reducing government only counts when it's tax cuts for rich people and reducing government services to poor people, everything else is just more Kenyan Socialist mind tricks!

You just don't understand.  Teabaggers only want to get "our country" back.  They just want things to go back to the way they were in the good old days!

We want to go back to a time when we should be in the kitchen right now...
We want to go back to when the government didn't pay nearly a trillion dollars to bailout private industries, like the entire banking industry.  What?  That was under Bush?  I dunno... that sounds like a really socialist thing to do, I'm pretty sure Obama did it.  What?  Before the 2008 election even happened?  Well, was Obama campaigning then?  Well, there you go!
We just want to go back to a time when Jesus was the only God allowed in America and it was ok to publicly discriminate against everyone who disagreed!
We want to go back to when our presidents read the consi... wait, did I misspell that?  No, I don't want to go up to the other section, I want to stay here because what I'm trying to say is we need a president who reads the constitution, not some fancy constitutional law scholar.  What the hell does a constitutional law graduate know about the constitution?
We want to pass a constitutional amendment to protect same-sex marriage.  We want to pass a constitutional amendment to prevent burning the flag.  We want to pass a constitutional amendment to balance the budget.  But, the one thing we don't want is a leader who doesn't respect the constitution!
We want to go back to a time when all men had to carry guns, you know, to prevent rustlers from stealin their horses...
We don't want the "new" Hitler, we want to go back to when the "old" one was still around!

When the Teabaggers say they want to "take back America", what they mean is "we want to take back white America".  Complain about it all you want, but what else about the "good old days" do you long for?

Or is it that you want to go back to the "good old days" when women and minorities had no rights and couldn't challenge white men for supremacy?  Oh wait, no, that's racist and Teabaggers aren't racist!

Or is it that you want to go back to the "good old days" when the middle class was the strongest in the world and a man could provide for his family comfortably on an honest day's work?  Well, the rich were taxed at anywhere from a 70% to a 90% tax rate then, and we all know the Teabaggers are against taxes almost as much as they're against immigrants, so that can't be it either...

Or maybe it's that you guys just want to go back to before cellphones, computers and the internet and stuff were around, is that it?  It's not racism, sexism or homophobia... it's just regular old technophobia?  You want to drive cars again that get 10 miles to the gallon and can be fixed with a monkey wrench and a hammer?  You long for those post-war fashions?  You miss McCarthyism?  What exactly is it about the "good old days" and "your America" that you feel you have lost that you, all of a sudden, in the last 4 years, have decided you have to "get back"?

Ah, NOW I get it!  You want THAT America back!  The America where a woman knew her place.  The America where the MAN was in charge.  It wasn't about race, because everyone just KNEW who the entitled race was.  You didn't have to be racist towards blacks and minorities, society did it for you!  You didn't have to fight the government for the right to protect your way of life, because the government was on YOUR SIDE back then!  I totally get it!  Teabaggers aren't racists, they just want to go back to when coloreds knew their place without having to be told.  Teabaggers aren't racists, they just want to go back to when Mexicans stayed in their labor camps where they belonged and only came out to make tacos and tamales and sing their happy Speedy Gonzales music and maybe record "La Bamba".  Teabaggers aren't sexists, they just want to go back to when a woman's place was in the home and they didn't bitch about their rights because they didn't have any.  Teabaggers aren't anti-government, they just want to go back to when the government put the needs of white males above everyone else's again.

How does that southern slogan go again?  The one that is invoked to defend flying the confederate flag over state buildings?  "Heritage, not hate"?  Yeah, that's it.  It's heritage, not hate!  Teabaggers don't hate women, coloreds, immigrants and homos... they just want to go back to a time when those people knew their place and stayed there.  Oh, and they want to cut taxes for the rich, so they can lay off more working class Americans and ship their operations overseas and make billions in profits doing it.  Don't ask me how that's in their best interests, it's all explained in detail on a sign up there somewhere...


  1. Most powerful. Let's go viral.

  2. See, the truth has a liberal bias...

  3. This is no different than a right-wing person could do with pictures from Occupy rallies. It's all BS. All Americans are foolishly believing in politicians who are only motivated by greed. Get involved. Know policies. Know candidates. Vote out the incumbents. Do research for yourself. The answer is self-reliance, self-accountability, and smaller gov't. Throwing bombs at the Tea Party accomplishes nothing.

  4. Not that I disagree with your main premise about the politicians being the problem, but I think there are some pretty clear differences between the Tea Party and OWS. Fundamentally, they're both movements born from frustration among the working class with the declining quality of life over the last 30 years, but the differences arise in the fact that the Tea Party was almost immediately usurped into an extremist fringe of the GOP, while OWS has remained non-affiliated. Yes, the OWS protestors are generally progressive in their views, but they haven't been co-opted by the Democrats, in spite of the party's best efforts. This is why OWS continues to gain support among the mainstream voters while the Tea Party steadily lost their support the farther to the right of the Republican party they moved.

    Second, I think the notion that "self-reliance, self-accountability and smaller gov't" aren't already the popular ideology among ALL voters is rather foolish as well. 2/3rds of the country works and works hard. Although the recession has forced more people onto gov't assistance than since before Clinton passed welfare to work, the overwhelming majority of this country is still holding down a job and taking care of themselves without any help. Even those who ARE receiving gov't help aren't just sitting around enjoying the "free ride". Welfare is hardly the life of luxury that many conservatives claim it to be, in most cases it's not even enough to survive on, which actually fosters dependence even further. However, people are breaking the cycle every day, the spirit and drive in all Americans to rise above their station in life and make their own fortunes knows no social or economic boundaries. I assure you, there are just as many "self-reliance" conservatives collecting welfare and disability checks right now as there are liberals, I know a few personally, in fact.

    As for the comments about getting involved and doing research, I couldn't agree more. Our elections would look a lot different if people researched the policies and politicians that they vote for based on who was most looking out for their interests rather than just going for the guy with the biggest campaign budget and nastiest PAC-sponsored trash ads. However, so long as we live in a country where money = speech, it's going to get worse before it gets better. That's why we're seeing a reality show instead of a serious GOP primary - it no longer matters who sits in the white house because lobbyists and corporations are the ones making all the policy decisions in this country now, we're really no better off with a well-educated president or the political equivalent of a Kardashian anymore...

  5. So these people are just taking us back into a primative America. If anything these demonstrations have made me super emberassed that people of that calibur still not only exsist but are "out loud" with it. It just goes to show that the racisim "area" of the human brain must occupy and override the same lobe as spelling and grammar.

  6. Brilliant! Loved the commentary. Amazing what a search for "Get your government hands off my medicare" will reveal.

    See, I'm all for the open exchange of ideas... but somewhere along the line it became more important to have an opinion than to actually be informed.

    Hopefully the supreme court will do the right thing. I've been suffering from chronic pain with no access to healthcare for three years. I finally got health insurance because I'm able to work again, so I'm part of a group and they can't exclude me due to pre-existing conditions... but it really bothers me that people are so cavalier about their opinions when these things affect real people, with real life struggles.

    Keep fighting the good fight!

    And I hope you get the chance to bone Meghan McCain.

  7. Dave, excellent comment, your views are well balanced and address the issues without the (wrongful accusations) at one party or the other. The extremes of both parties are exactly that, extreme. When valuing the others viewpoint, healthy understanding of someones different opinions should be respected first. The polarization of our fringes continues to keep us from solving real issues. We should not be derailed by the "minority" issues.
    America wants, no needs to be fiscally conservative and socially liberal. This is what has made us great as a country of opportunity and freedom.
    Let me say that we HAVE to get our Country fiscally strong first! Make tough decisions, the reforms, re instilling controls that were in place for 70 years. Only when we get our house in order, we can then get our emotions and social problems addressed. This is exactly like your own personal life. Which of the candidates in front of us will or can make the tough decisions now?

  8. In truth, President Obama is NOT qualified for the Presidency. If we step back and view his credentials and now his performance, it is obvious. The alternative at the time was no better. We all have to demand more from these representatives. My fear unfortunately is that real "change" won't come until "real" desperate times.

  9. as far as the health-care bill that is presently in front of us. Sorry, the idea of national health care is needed and should be on the table and addressed. However THIS bill is horrible. Totally rushed and typically filled with caveats and pork that we can not accept.
    Understand that the uninformed again react to emotions first. This same approach to legislation has been going on for the last 4 administrations without restraint.
    Can't have an insurance plan without individual responsibility or individual consequences. Another program for disaster.

  10. How can you support a party that wants to take hard earned money away from the job-providers and life-givers and hand it to the lazy welfare queens from Muslim? If you tax the life-providers and job-givers, they'll all move to a different country. We won't know how to take care of ourselves and society will collapse.