Friday, August 5, 2011

Ok, it's Friday.

No, I'm not going to start singing that stupid, played out Rebecca Black song.  Her 15 minutes are up, yadda yadda and so forth.

However, my wrists are sore from doing housework all day.  Ah, the glamorous life of the stay at home "dad" (hey, we have 3 dogs, it counts kinda!)  At any rate, after spending all morning and part of the afternoon getting our house way cleaner than it usually is to impress one of my good friends from high school who's coming out to visit us for the first time since we moved into our new house, I don't feel like typing for days and days and I'm in nowhere near a cynical enough mindset to rant about politics, so I've decided to make a list of things that I think are awesome as hell, just because I can.

1.  Water, it's delicious and refreshing, especially when you just finished scrubbing the bathroom floor like Cinderella.
2.  Surround sound music systems, also great for making housework more bearable, or for "relaxing" after a tough day with a nice Slayer cd.
3.  Grilled Chicken, shit's delicious, dog.
4.  Slayer, but you already knew that.
5.  Boobs, I mean, when aren't they awesome?
6.  Tattoos, especially on girls, who have boobs.
7.  Gangster Movies, AMC is killing it right now with their "Gangster Week."  If only they didn't censor everything.
8.  Vodka, clean buzz, no hangovers, tastes great in everything and will be entering my system in T minus 2 hours and counting...
9.  Friends, how many of us have them?
10.  Facebook, I would literally have hours of time I would have to find something else to waste on without it.
11.  Porn, see also: Facebook.
12.  My dogs, they are the best!  I love my little guys.
13.  Triskaidekaphobia
14.  Cable TV, mainly because I watched The Devil's Rejects on demand last night and it did my movie review homework for me, but also because of other stuff too, like The Daily Show, Rachel Maddow and Robot Chicken.  Fuck the haters, that show is funny!
15.  Music, all music that's good music, it keeps me going when nothing else can.
16.  Tacos, if you don't like tacos, you're a communist.
17.  Girls with nice butts, ladies, you can change that to "guys" if you want, just don't tell me about it.  "It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." - Kenny Powers
18.  Getting Stoned, or as we in CA like to call it, "medicated". 
19.  Breakfast, it's the most important meal of the day homey.
20.  Dave Chappelle, dude is the king of comedy.
21.  Online Gaming, there's nothing quite like driving a nerd to serious rage and a public chat channel meltdown because you killed his pretend character in a virtual world that you access via computer.
22.  Air Conditioning, 101 outside?  Sorry, can't hear you over my frosty ass central air that I'm now turning down to 72...
23.  That first pee in the morning, it's almost like an orgasm, only you don't feel as dirty afterwards.
24.  Mexicans, they make the best food and some of the hottest women on Earth, viva la raza!
25.  Rachel Maddow and Jon Stewart, they need a show together, throw in a never-ending pizza and a hot tub full of hot bi-curious strippers and you literally have one of my genie wishes.
26.  Ferraris, the Rolls Royce of cars.
27.  Republicans, I would literally have nothing to write about 3-4 days out of the week without them.
28.  Having Sex, it's the benchmark that all great things are compared to.  "Omg, this cheesecake is almost better than sex!"  Note: anyone who says something is "better" than sex either A) hasn't had good sex yet, or B) is a drug addict and talking about getting high.
29.  Dancing when you suck at dancing but are in that frame of mind where you don't give a shit and are just doing it anyway. That pretty much said it all.
30.  Ending lists on a nice, round number.

Have a great weekend everybody, see you back here sometime before Monday is over.

1 comment:

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