Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day

Yeah, that's actually a cake.  I found it here.  So, it's that time of year again, the time when couples exchange food and material goods for sexual favors legally.  All the "It's a made-up, greeting card holiday" cynicism aside, what Valentine's Day is really about is taking a moment to give your significant other or would-be significant other some special attention and appreciation.  Yes, good couples do this stuff 365 days out of the year and don't need a special holiday to "force" them to spend time together, be romantic and profess their mutual love for one another, but so what?  Valentine's Day is not a day for miserable couples to fake it or bad couples to pull it together for one night out of the year.  I mean, sure, that happens, but for those who are in love and celebrate it all year long, Valentine's Day is a day when husbands and boyfriends send huge flower and balloon arrangements to their wives and girlfriends at work to make all her co-workers jealous as hell!  That's the real magic of Valentine's Day, one-upping everyone else with the awesomeness of your love!  Ok, maybe that's not right either...

My feelings about Valentine's Day range from ambivalence to various levels of excitement depending on what our plans are for the day.  I like going out to dinner with my wife and that is our main V-Day tradition, so that's pretty cool.  Sometimes we go away for the weekend somewhere and that's always fun as well.  This year, I think we're just going to do the dinner thing and that's fine with me.  To me, any excuse to spend an evening with my wife is a good one, I don't need a special holiday to get me excited about it.  So, to that end I'm ambivalent, I would be just as happy ordering takeout and watching a movie on the couch as having a steak in a restaurant somewhere.

I don't feel sorry for my single friends on this day and why would I?  Being single isn't a terminal illness or some dreaded affliction to offer condolences for.  In fact, my single friends get to avoid getting caught up in the pressure to spend money today, so good for them.  I'm sure many of them would rather have someone in their lives to take out and spend money on, which makes perfect sense, but I don't think pity is the correct emotion to show to people who are single today, especially because of how ridiculous and stupid it is to feel bad for single people on this one day out of the year.  If you really feel so bad, hook your single friends up with someone, even if it's just a slut to get them a quick and easy piece of ass.  I mean, really, isn't that what all of us couples are doing with each other anyway?  Sure, we wrap it in bows and ribbons and ply our recipients with food and drink first, but aren't we all just giving each other a piece of ass as a gift today?  So, why not cut out the middle man and get right down to business?

So yeah, Happy Valentine's Day.  I hope all my friends who are married or in a relationship have a nice evening with their significant others and get good and laid afterwards and I hope all my single friends meet a nice slutty girl or guy and get the last laugh on the rest of us by achieving the same end result without having to drop a stack of cash to get there first.

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