Friday, July 15, 2011

"Gay History" in our schools? What's next, integration??

On Thursday, CA Governor Jerry Brown signed bill SB48 into law.  This bill essentially requires schools to teach about the historically significant contributions of Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual and Trans-Gender people in social studies classes.  It has been unofficially nicknamed the "Harvey Milk" law, as one of the historical lessons that this bill would require the teaching of is the political career of Harvey Milk, who was elected to San Francisco's board of supervisors in 1977, the first openly-gay man to be elected to public office in California, and later assassinated, along with SF mayor George Moscone, by former supervisor Dan White, which led to the infamous "Twinkie Defense" where White's defense team cited a deep depression, brought upon by a recent binging on sugary foods, as being responsible for his actions, thus effectively getting his conviction reduced from first-degree murder to voluntary manslaughter.  White served only 5 years of a 7-year sentence for the killings.

See?  That's the kind of stuff that this bill would require schools to begin teaching in social studies classes.  Contributions of ground-breaking LGBT activists that changed our society for the better.  Historical facts that include individuals in the LGBT community.  Teaching about the passing and later repeal of "Don't ask, don't tell."  Teaching about the passing of marital equality legislation in some states and the efforts to kill it in other states - namely California - where religious groups from out of the state poured millions of dollars in to the effort to have gay marriage revoked in the state.  These historical facts, relevant or credited to the LGBT community are important to know about.  Every study done on the subject has shown that students who were educated about the contributions of LGBT people in history and society were more tolerant of them and considered their schools to be more inclusive and fair as a result.

Unfortunately, things like "facts" and "data" are irrelevant to the rabid, homophobic, self-righteous and relentlessly hypocritical religious "morality police".  They are also, apparently, unconcerned with the actual wording of the bill, what, exactly, it mandates and how that will translate to actual changes to school curriculum.  You can't see it, but my face is totally shocked right now...

The very same day that Gov. Brown signed the bill into law, anti-gay groups began bombarding the internet and every social media outlet they could access through their anti-porn filter software to spread misinformation, scare tactics and outright lies about this bill and what it does.  Using their legion of ignorant, reactionary and latently bigoted and homophobic flock, the all-too-familiar "Phone Game" began to play out.

You remember the "Phone Game", right?  Maybe you had a different name for it, but the premise is the same. It's that game we used to play in school where the teacher would whisper a phrase into a students ear at one end of the classroom and they had to whisper it to the student in front of them, and so on and so on through each row and every student, and by the time the last student at the other end of the classroom heard it whispered in their ear, they had to say to the class what the phrase was and everyone laughed because it was so different from the actual phrase the teacher first said?  The point of the game was to show how easily even the simplest of stories can change when they've been repeated through the grapevine, and ultimately to teach a moral lesson about how rumors get started and facts can become distorted when people just say what they think they heard without checking their facts first.

Well, thanks to the internet and sites like facebook and twitter, the "Phone Game" plays out on a national, even global scale, and it does so in the blink of an eye.  By last night, there were already websites up listing the dumbest and most outrageous facebook statuses and tweets about the Gay History bill.  We're talking within hours of the bill passing, there was already enough of a catalog of dumb shit being said about the bill that bloggers were able to create top 10, top 15, top 20, etc. lists of the most ridiculous comments that people were ignorantly throwing out on the net about this bill.

Here is a list I just found after a quick google search, courtesy of Buzzfeed.

That awkward moment when you reference "Pedaphile" history and have a picture of a kid sucking his finger as your avatar...  Also, I just love how people pretend to be so tolerant "I thought that we were all "one" people..." and then equate homosexuality with pedophilia and beastiality... yeah, because those 3 sexual orientations are all in the same boat...  You don't want anyone's sexual orientation "forced down the throats" of your kids (again, another bad choice of words, captain "pedaphile")?  It's funny, you never had a problem with the historical contributions of heterosexual people being taught in school, but when they try to teach that gay people do good things too and aren't just those scary people in leather that the guys in Police Academy always accidentally stumble upon when they enter a bar without checking the name first, then all of a sudden it's "forcing" a lifestyle on people?  This is a perfect example of what I'm talking about, people who react to a headline before even bothering to learn what, exactly, the bill Gov. Brown signed actually does.

But wait, there's more!

Where to even start with this one?  Once again, another epic avatar for someone so concerned about children!  Apparently, the only thing this guy wants his kids being taught is adolescent alcoholism, because he not only doesn't want gay history taught in schools, he doesn't want heterosexual history taught there either!  So all his kids would learn about is the historical contributions of people who were celibate.  Brilliant!  I also love how this is another qualified prejudiced statement. "I personally don't care what someone's sexual preference is, but..."  That's like whenever someone says "I don't mean to be racist, but..." you always know it's about to be followed by some racist ass shit.  Here's a pro-tip, future father of an alcoholic party girl, if you truly personally don't care what someone's sexual preference is, then you don't care if their contributions to society are taught either!  Props to you though for the crack about teaching beastiality in Iowa, because we all know a sheep's ass in Iowa is as irresistible as a man's ass is in San Francisco!

More, you say?  You got it!

So, they're teaching gay studies in Kindergarten now?  Do you remember having a social studies class in Kindergarten?  I dunno, maybe I just went to a really bad school, but we read books, colored... all the things this guy says he used to do... yet somehow he still thinks they're now going to crowbar complex social education into a day in which "nap time" is an instructional period.  So, ok, clearly this dude is no Rhodes Scholar.  "Any tips on how to explain "culture war" to a 5 year old?"  Any tips on how to explain "You're fucking 50 and balding, put the Hawaiian shirt and Mexican Fender strat away, you're not Jimmy fucking Buffet!" to a middle-aged man who actually thinks he still looks cool doing this shit?

I haven't had this much fun since my Juggalo post!

So now, apparently gays are responsible for the financial problems that are plaguing the state too!  Fucking gays man!  With their higher average income, contributing to the local economy, ruining everything!  I bet they started all those wildfires too, with their clove cigarettes and their extravagance.  I mean, they're called "flaming" for crying out loud!  I could have sworn I saw a gay guy fart the other day, and it turned directly into a greenhouse gas.  Not to alarm you, Julie Ghan-Bean, but it looks like your daughters might be at-risk lesbians there, with all that chest-grabbing and is that a choke hold?  They're into some kinky shit, those little horn dogs, better get them into homeschooling quick, so you can get them to your obviously high level of education as quickly as possible!  Oh, and if you find any Birkenstocks in their closets, BURN THEM!

Ok, two more, I already linked the list, I don't want to completely plagiarize it!

I'm going to guess that all the deer in California are glad you don't live here either.  I also love the "Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve" joke.  Man that hasn't lost any of it's zing since back in 1982 when I first heard that shit on my TV that I had to get up and walk over to the dial to change.  Also, I love this guy's name, "Jason Wood", it's so close to being "Jay Wood", which we all know is a fabulous gay porn name.  Pro-tip for you, Mr. Wood (also a great gay porn name), Adam and Steve never existed, so they wouldn't be taught as part of "gay history".  Stick to killing docile animals and hauling them around in your pickup truck, because we all know nothing gay ever comes out of weekend hunting trips...

Saving the best for last...

"Gay training courses"?  This from a guy who's avatar is him, and another dude, staring wistfully at a fairytale castle, interior decorating it with their eyes?  "or something like that."  Which means, I just heard this and wanted to talk shit about it, so I'll just say whatever and be outrageous, because that's how Ishmael Singh rolls, baby!  I also like his terrible joke about February being "gay history month" and "treason for a good reason."  Because we know how protective those blacks are of their history month, am I rite, Ish?  Lastly, after socking it to the gays and the blacks, he doesn't neglect the ladies with his crack about moving this imaginary gay history month to March, because it's woman's history month and "nobody likes them anymore anyways."  Of course you don't like women, Ishmael, you're middle-eastern!  OH SNAP!  NO I DI-N'T!"  Let's see, two groups who don't want to see any part of a woman that's sexual - gays and middle-eastern men - coincidence?  When you boys get done putting up curtains in the foyer of the pretty princess castle over there, get back to me with your thoughts on that.  Oh stereotypes, why are you so much fun?

Seriously though, the bill is online, and it's not even that long.  I made it through it and I graduated from public high school and only have a junior college education, so even the mouthiest of breathers should be able to grasp the basics of it.  Go take a look at it, do something radical and crazy and educate yourself about something before you jump to conclusions.

Remember, there was a time when teaching about black and minority history was controversial and outrageous.  There was a time when teaching about women's history was controversial and outrageous.  There was even a time when allowing blacks and minorities into the same schools as white people was controversial and outrageous.  Which side of history do you want to be on?  The people who fought for equality, or the ones turning on the fire hoses and letting loose the German Shepherds?  Quit being so fucking gay and start supporting the teaching of equality and tolerance in our society.  That's all.

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