New Hampshire Primaries!?

Another primary election, another new crop of "front runners", another chance for everyone but Romney to bafflingly prove that Romney is the winner by default.

After his Fox News-induced "surge" to take second place in Iowa, Rick Santorum has practically dropped off the face of the Earth in New Hampshire, lagging back in something like 5th place as of the last poll of likely voters.  This makes the "Santorum Surge" the shortest jump towards the front of the pack since Gingrich's short-lived stint near the limelight last month.  It's almost as if the GOP base slept with Newt after a drunken rally party one night and then banged Santorum just to get the old man balls taste out of their mouths.

It shouldn't be all that surprising that Santorum's "surge" lasted about a week.  I think sometimes the GOP voters forget the reason why guys like Rick have been sucking hind tit the whole race.  The guy is as backwards, ignorant, intolerant and unlikable as they come.  At some point, even the basiest of the base voters has to realize that claiming the best solution to unemployment and our unstable economy is banning gay marriage is flat out crazy talk.  Santorum is like a homophobic Mr. Rogers in his sweater vest and he should frankly be grateful he even got one week in the spotlight, it's at least two or three weeks more than he deserved.

Now, far be it for me to give Rick Santorum any advice at all, but he would be wise to distance himself from Newt.  Gingrich started hooking his claws into Santorum the minute it became obvious that his own fading spotlight was moving over to Rick instead.  Santorum might be flattered that a toothless old pit bull like Gingrich is barking on his side of the fence, but that dog doesn't play well with others and the minute he senses an opening in Santorum, he's going to bite him in the ass.  If Rick has any brain at all in that fat head of his, he will keep Gingrich a safe distance away from whatever remnants of a campaign he still has left after New Hampshire.

Then there's Ron Paul, the other front runner who isn't actually in front.  Full disclosure, my issues with the Paul campaign have less to do with Ron himself than with his followers.  So, ok, I can actually give Ron the benefit of the doubt on those racist newsletters.  Not that I don't think he was aware of their content, because I'm positive that he was, I just don't think he paid enough attention to just how hateful and ignorant those articles were, nor do I think he really gave a shit beyond sticking his name on them to promote his career aspirations.  In other words, I don't think Ron Paul is a blistering racist, I just think that he is fine with pandering to blistering racists if it gets him votes - and it has.  No, the people I really have issue with are the blistering racists who are the concrete foundation of the Tea Party.  Tea Partiers can claim all they want that their movement isn't seeded in racism, but the Tea Party formed out of the Ron Paul grass-roots campaign in '08 and it was formed by many of the same assholes who either wrote those flagrantly racist articles or who read and agreed with them.  Ron Paul is an isolationist, an ideology that fits perfectly with the average racist.  He also believes in state sovereignty, which I personally happen to agree with to an extent, but that is also another core ideology for people who don't want "big government" telling them who they can or can't be openly prejudiced against.  Handing all essential legislative power back to the individual states is a great way for ignorant, racist, homophobic, prejudiced, xenophobic and sexist white males to create the individual utopia's of intolerance that they can't get away with under a federal government that insists on respecting the crazy notion that "all men are created equal".

There's this game that Paul supporters like to play where they dance around the real issues that have motivated them to support their candidate with stuff like fed policy that they don't even understand.  Ask 10 Ron Paul supporters why they like him best and you'll hear 10 different explanations of varying levels of incoherence about monetary policy, foreign interventionism and eliminating regulations and one, unified and extremely clear message about closing the borders, cracking down on illegal immigrants, giving the states the power to ban whatever - or whoever - they want and the plight of the white, Christian male, the "most hated person in America".  And that, in a nutshell, is the Ron Paul vote - a bunch of bitter, misguided white guys and the women who love them who blame liberals, fags and brown people for all of our countries problems and want to restore the right to run them out of town or drag them out chained to the back of their trucks if need be and who know just enough about Paul's fiscal and foreign policies to pretend that it's not about that other stuff at all, even though it is.

So, that brings us to Jon Huntsman, who is now polling where Santorum was before the Iowa caucus.

For the record, I like Jon Huntsman.  I think he's a breath of fresh air compared to the rest of the GOP field.  The guy is infinitely reasonable, intelligent and unlike everyone else in the republican party, he actually is willing to work with the other side of the aisle.  While the base and beltway are beating up on Huntsman for having the audacity to accept a job as ambassador to China from the great socialist himself, ObaMao, those of us with some intelligence and objectivity recognize this as both pragmatic and patriotic on Huntsman's part.  The "crazy" notion that a republican could actually put what's best for the country over what's going to make sure Obama loses in 2012 doesn't fly well with the radical fringe base or the haters running for the party nomination, but it holds plenty of water with independent and swing voters.

That being said, there are a few things about Huntsman that I don't like, namely his social conservatism and stubborn adherence to the proven failure that is trickle-down economics, but compared to the rest of his competitors for the GOP nomination, Huntsman is damn near liberal.  I'm not saying I would vote for him over Obama at this point, but unlike every other candidate on the GOP side, I would at least consider voting for Huntsman and if I would consider it, then surely a lot of disenchanted independents and "Obama republicans" would definitely do it.

So, that's the field going into the New Hampshire primaries tonight.  I would like to see Huntsman finish in the top 3 and Santorum and Gingrich both at the bottom of the heap.  Those two jerkoffs can't go away and stay away fast enough, in my opinion.  Oh, and I didn't forget about Rick Perry, he just doesn't matter anymore.  Dude is pre-polling below Buddy Roemer for crying out loud.  I know Perry has written off New Hampshire and is focusing on South Carolina instead, where his yahoo ass country hick schtick flies a lot better, but he's basically a non-factor at this point.  I mean, say what you want about Michelle Bachmann, but at least she knew when she was done.  I guess that's what Texas ed policy gets you, a candidate who can't read the writing on the wall.

As always, I look forward to seeing how the numbers turn out tonight and I expect to have yet another wildly different field of front runners to pick apart by the next primary election.  Oh, you wacky conservatives, your bi-polar nominee romances are so entertaining!